Thirty-Ninth Edition: Roots

A love letter to the place that raised me.

Self Portrait in my childhood bedroom

New Jersey is my home state. I was born in Morristown but moved to Wayne when I was just turning 6-years-old (after a very short stint in Ridgewood). As far as I’m concerned, Wayne is my hometown. From ages 6 to 18, I grew up there. I went to school, played with my friends, went through puberty, experienced unfathomable love and immeasurable loss; all in the confines of 25 square miles. Like most people, I have a complicated relationship with my hometown. Wayne is where I grew into the man I am today. I met my lifelong best friends there. I had my first kiss there. But it’s also the place I was bullied so heavily I would come home crying. It’s the place where my father died; his spirit still permeating through every corner.

My mother continues to live in that same house my parents bought in 2003 and I visit at least once every year. As I drove my sister’s car on the same streets I was chauffeured down as a kid, I noticed everything that has changed. My childhood local movie theater in the Preakness Shopping Center is boarded up, along with the beloved pizza place, diner and deli. Blockbuster is long gone. My old high school has a new paint job. Even my beloved elementary school tire swing is gone; no longer there to carry hordes of laughing children.

My heart hurting, I decide to seek out places that felt eternal. Spots that have managed to hold onto their auras that defined my youth. Through all the years and all the changes, these are places that hold sacred memories to me. Places that for the briefest of moments, make me feel like a kid, just living his life in his hometown.

The Camera:

For this project I wanted to use the first film camera I ever bought, my Yashica-A. It is a basic Japanese-made twin lens reflex camera made between 1956 and 1960. It was marketed as the lowest of three tiers of TLRs manufactured by the company at the time. With limited controls but beautiful image quality, it was truly the perfect starter camera and one that I hold dear to my heart. I bought it from Southeastern Camera in Carrboro, NC as a senior in college. With a rare green leather finish, my friends at the store knew it was perfect for me.

The Film:

For this project I used a fresh roll of Kodak Portra 400. This is one of the most popular film stocks to ever exist. It is daylight balanced, meaning it is meant for outdoor use and was marketed as a preferred film for portraits. The film’s warmer color profile makes for an aesthetically pleasing capture of skin tones. The price of Portra has skyrocketed in recent years with a 5-pack of 120 film selling for an average of $75. While I use dozens of different film stocks, this one remains my go to for reliable and vibrant color photography.

The Process:

Developing C-41 film generally involves seven steps to produce a proper negative (wash, developer, bleach, fixer, wash, stabilizer and final wash). I use a Cinestill brand at-home kit that shortens the process. After mixing the powder concentrate with water, the developer must be precisely heated to 102°F and the “blix” must be between 75°F and 105°F. The steps are as follows:

1. Load the film in a Paterson reel and tank in total darkness.

2. Wash the film in water that is roughly 102°F to warm it up to temperature and prepare it to evenly receive the developer.

3. Pour the developer in and agitate (invert or rotate the tank) for 30 seconds and then agitate for 5 seconds, every 30 seconds for 3.5 minutes*.

4. Blix (combo bleacher and fixer) with the same agitation pattern for 8 minutes

5. Wash for 5 minutes in running water and you’re done!

*Note that development time increases about 5% with every re-use of the developer.

The Results:

I sought to capture the spirit of each of these places so when I look at the image, it would feel like a window to my past. I feel like I came as close as I could.

Sunrise Bagels has been my family’s go-to local bagel shop since we moved to Wayne. As a kid I went with my dad to pick up Taylor Ham, Egg, and Cheese sandwiches + newspapers every Saturday and Sunday. As a high schooler, I’d eat Point Views with my soccer teammates during summer “Hell Week”.

And these are the beloved bagels. The ownership has changed since I was younger but the bagels are still delicious.

This is the view of our backyard from my childhood bedroom. I spent numerous hours looking out that window as I did homework and even more hours playing endless games with my friends on that grass.

A soccer goal at Shai-Shacknai Memorial Park behind my old Elementary School. This field is where I played rec soccer as a little kid and learned how much I love being a goalkeeper.

Vinni’s Pizzarama looks exactly the same as it did in the early 2000s when my family would drive the half mile to pickup a pie every Friday night. That was also the one night we were allowed to eat in the living room with the TV on.

While not technically in Wayne city limits, my father is buried one town over. But he felt more like home to me than any single place ever has. Including his grave marker just feels right.

Fun Fact:

I was so nostalgic on this trip that I brought 26 bagels from Sunrise back to Minnesota with me and have them stored in my freezer.